The desire for friendship is woven into what we need for a healthy support system in order not to feel alone or left out in the scheme of things.
Often times, we seek meaningful friendships from the outside. We look to others to find solace, validation and companionship. A true friend is one who sticks by your side through thick and thin, one who will never make you feel bad, disappointed or betrayed. Even the Bible says, "There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24
As sweet and as good as this may sound, even while having the best of friends, we would much later realize that friends are people just like us who are sometimes unreliable, competitive, selfish, self-focused and sometimes oblivious to the needs of others.
But there is this charming person you create and cultivate a great relationship with. The one person that actually knows you better than anyone else. A lifelong friend that you can always be kind to and that person is the one who stays with you day in day out, sleeps with you. This person is no other person but YOU the only person you call ME.
ME knows you better and understands you better than anyone else and can treat you better than anyone else would. We often expect people to treat us better than we do ourselves but it is the way you treat yourself that sets the standard of how others treat you.
We sometimes find it difficult to treat ourselves better due to past hurts, betrayals, mistakes and failures that make us overly critical and harsh on ourselves. But we've got to let go of every hurt that hunts us from the past, learn to forgive everyone who may hurt us in unimaginable ways but more importantly forgive ourselves so we can be free to let go and forgive others too.
HOW TO BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND
Forgive yourself for every mistake or error made and move on loving your life like never before. Accept that you did your best with what you knew at the time. Offer yourself the compassion you would show a struggling friend.
Be first your own motivation before anyone else when it seems like your world is turning upside down. Soothe yourself when hurting. Let people encourage and be there for you but when you fail to soothe yourself and be first your own motivation, nothing anyone does will be alright for you.
Self love isn't selfish. It is the cornerstone to every other relationship in your life. Like it is commonly said "You can't give what you don't have." Love and care for yourself so you can do same to others building healthy relationships. Be kind to you so you can be kind to others.
Accept who you are. Your flaws and weaknesses are a part of who you are. Just as you celebrate your strengths, Accept your flaws and weaknesses and see them as paths or stepping stones towards your growth. Stop waiting for people's validation or approval to know your worth. Listen to their advice but at the end of the day, let it be your own approval and validation of yourself.
When you look in the mirror, appreciate the person staring back at you. Say nice things to the person in the mirror. Call out the person in front of the mirror by name and tell him or her how much you love and appreciate that person.
Learn to spend time alone with yourself and enjoy your own company. You can only be yourself when you cultivate the habit of spending some time alone with you. Listen to your body, spirit and soul and give them what they deserve physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise.
Celebrate every milestone no matter the size and keep working towards realizing the bigger goal. Every goal crushed, is a win worth celebrating.
It takes practice to see yourself as your own best friend if you are yet to do so and it's never to late to begin cultivating the habit of being your own best friend.
You've got just you and you alone to spend the rest of your life with. Everybody around you will someday leave to be better persons and better versions of themselves. You've got only you to be with, sleep with, bath with, eat with, converse with and go out with so start treating you like you would like others to treat you.
Quote for the day - "The most important relationship you will always have is the one you cultivate with yourself." - Rhoda I. Amapakabo
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