STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL

One thing I have learnt to do in life over time is not to stress over the things beyond my control. If have control over them why worry and if I can't why worry still? 

We want things so bad sometimes yet can't have them. There are things we do not wish for yet they happen to us.

Life can be full of so many stressors and difficulties that tend to make life uncomfortable for us sometimes but stressing so much over the things beyond our control can lead to anxiety and depression.

Whether we like it or not, there will always be uncomfortable times in our lives when things don't go as planned or as wanted.

We go through unpleasant experiences we never thought could happen to us. No matter how we try to avoid the knockdowns, knockbacks and knockouts, they happen to us any way and that is life for you.

But what do we do at such times? let anxiety and worry overwhelm us or take control of our emotions, actions and reactions.

The truth is, it's not always easy not to worry about things not going well in our lives as we want them to or not worry about unpleasant occurrences in our lives but not impossible to do.

"Why worry if you can solve it and why worry when you can't do a thing about it" is a mantra I always use to calm myself when things are beyond my control and tend to weigh me down.

It is much easier said than done but trust me not and never impossible to do and when you master the art of not worrying over things beyond your control, it becomes a part of you.

Worrying over things you can't control is no way to live. It steals your joy, time, zaps your strength and energy from the things you can control and prevents your personal growth.

It makes you blind towards the opportunities in front of you, the resources readily available in front of you and even solutions to the things you worry about.

In most cases, God uses the things we can't change to change us. He is not interested in changing your circumstance than He is in changing you.

Of recent, I realized, there is always a way out of every unpleasant situation even when it seems like there is no solution. 

The first thing to do in such a time is to calm down and when you do, there will be clarity on what to do next and what not to do.

WAYS TO LET GO OF THE THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL

1. LET GO OF THE PAST 

What has happened in the past should remain in the past. Learn from it and move on.

You won't be the first person to have a terrible past, made terrible mistakes or decisions neither would you be the last. So leave the past in the past and move on.

There is nothing negative that happens to us that does not come with vital lessons -  lessons on how to do it next time, not to make same mistakes, and how well react in a similar situation in the future.

2. KNOW THE THINGS UNDER YOUR CONTROL 

In life, there are so many things we can't control. You can't control the actions and the reactions of people towards you, you can't control things that happen to you neither can you control the things people say about you.

But there is something you have a high level of control over and that is you - your actions, reactions, efforts and attitude - towards the things that happen to you.

Channel your energy towards what you can control and not what you can't control. This way, you have more clarity on what to do and what not do in such situations. 

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR THOUGHTS

What most people think about when in difficult situations and worrying over things they have no control over is fearing for the worst. 

At such points, what they think about are such things as "What's going to happen to me? "The end has come." "What will people say or think about me? "Where do I go from here? Instead of thinking about what to do if the worst scenario happens.

What you don't know is that physically and mentally, you are stronger than you think in any given situation you find yourself in.

God said in his word that there is no temptation that can overcome you. Meaning, there is nothing that will happen to you that you can't overcome or conquer with time. It may not be easy but not  impossible.

"No, in all these we are more than conquerors" - Roman 8:37

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13. 

Knowing you can handle the outcome of the situation, helps you to face and overcome it with a strong mindset. It also helps you to channel your energy into more useful things. 

STOP DWELLING ON THE PROBLEM BUT ON THE SOLUTION

It is much easier to keep playing what went down in our heads - what happened, how it happened, who said what, who did not stand in our defence and how embarrassed we were - than to think of a better way out - solutions. 

Instead of ruminating the bad scenarios in our heads and dwelling on them all day long, day in and day out, we should rather think of how to solve the problem, how not to have a recurrence of the situation and how to handle it better.

You get better, grow better, develop your brain better and know better when you think of solutions than dwelling on the problems. 

DEVELOP YOUR OWN WAY(S) OF MANAGING STRESS

There are different ways to mage stress and what works for one may not work for the other. For me, my stress management pattern is exercising and reading a good motivational or inspirational book.

Other ways of managing stress include going out with friends, going to recreation centres, eating healthy meals, listening to sound motivational talks or having a very good sleep.

Find out what works best for you and start using it when in difficult moments.

DEVELOP HEALTHY MANTRAS FOR YOURSELF

Mantras are words or phrases used to motivate or inspire oneself above challenges. They are positive words used to rise above every negative challenge we might encounter or come across.

You don't even need to wait for difficult moments before you start developing positive words as mantras.

Learn to start developing them now and use them as part of your daily routines. For instance, I don't leave the house any day without saying to myself that today is going to be a great day, today is going to be a productive day and today is going to a fruitful day.

Mantras you can use when in difficult times are phrases or words such as "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Never say never." "One day at a time." I will overcome." This too shall pass." I am more than capable." I don't have to understand everything now, with time, it will all make sense." and so on

After all said and done, know that, there is no amount of stress or difficult situations that can kill you but worrying over the things you can't control can complicate and make things worse for you. 

Be gentle on yourself and let go of the habit of constant worrying over things beyond your control. Be grateful to God for the things that are working and know that irrespective of the magnitude of the problem beyond your control, you will pull through.

Quote for the day - "Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create." - Roy T.

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