There have been so many times in my life that I focus so much on what was happening to me without realizing its effect of what was happening in me.
When I lost my mum, it was like the whole world was coming to an end. There was this emptiness I felt inside that nothing could fill up.
I remembered her promises like the one she said "on your wedding day, while others would be spraying you money, I would be spraying different kinds of wrappers on you".☺can you beat that? And you know, Rivers State wrappers no dey carry last⌣
That and many other promises she made to me and my siblings like taking care of her grand kids but did not live long enough to keep them.
She did not really reap the fruits of her labor yet the little things we bought for her, she kept them safe and untouched because they came from her children and she cherished them so much.
Another major sad event that happened to me was me going blank while speaking on stage and this was so obvious that it seemed the ground should open up and swallow me.
When I got home, couldn't even remove the fine gown I wore. I laid on bed with the whole event playing in my head over and over again and when it was morning, I wished it was still night so I don't come out in the daylight 🤣.
I was like, who sent me? why did I even start this in the first place? faces of all those who were there kept staring me in the face. All playing in my head.
I have also experienced a major break up, disappointments, betrayals, criticisms, mockeries and so many others.
The thing is, when these things happen to us, there is usually these negative feelings and thoughts that crop up.
Feelings and thoughts like you are not good enough, you are not pretty or handsome, you don't deserve it, you can't do it or be better at it. These and many other thoughts.
Now, it's normal to have such thoughts or feelings but abnormal to dwell on them or let them linger on for long and then make them a part of you.
With the loss of my mum, I had to encourage myself with the way she had brought me and my siblings up. The values, ethics, discipline, life of contentment, independence and dependency on God alone as well as others she instilled in us are what is seeing us through till date. We live our lives like she is still here with us
We encourage ourselves with the fact that she has done her bit and has gone to rest. Instead of mourning over and over again, we look at the good things she has done for us, to us as well as the good and fun times we spent with her.
After I went blank on stage and was wallowing in self pity, regret on why I accepted to have a presentation in that program but then thought "How can you effectively motivate, inspire and encourage others when you haven't experienced certain things yourself." came on me.
The next morning, I got up and went to church for morning prayers where some people who experienced what had happened where even present but I held my head high and moved on like nothing had happened even if it was still playing in my head.
Got to to the office, told my colleagues what had happened the previous day and we all laughed over it and continued my work. As time went on, I read and studied speakers who had similar experience and how they bounced back.
With this, I encouraged myself, learnt my lesson and also bounced back to my speaking career and have spoken in other events even in that same event and today, it's a story I tell to let people know that failure is not final nor fatal and neither does it mean you are a failure.
For breakups or disappointments, I just say to myself after a while, there is something better and special out there for me and then I move on with life.
With time, I get to realize, it all happened for good and thank God that I never settled there. See, life gets better by the day but you won't see this when you are stuck.
You gotta get to the point where you learn to encourage yourself when it seems like nothing is moving fine in your life. See things from a positive point of view.
Life doesn't always go as planned or expected but you are still here and still on purpose so don't get stuck but get moving. Irrespective of how slow your movement might be, just keep moving anyway.
The more we stay discouraged, the more we get stuck and settle where we are or settle for less instead of moving on and settling for the best.
You need not let what is happening to you or around you get into you and then weigh you down. What is happening to you is not as important as what happens inside of you. What happens inside of you will in most cases determine what comes out of you and how how you react.
What goes inside of you in times of despair, discouragements, disappointments etc will largely determine what comes out of you and ultimately determine your action which can make or mar you.
So, at such moments, be careful what or who you listen to as well as what you watch. In desperation, we are most likely to take wrong steps but with a calm spirit, with the right people, with the right tools and with the right attitude, we come out stronger and better.
See, there is always something good or a lesson to pick in any bad situation but we are most times blinded by what is happening to us that we fail to see or realize the hidden blessings.
What we see or perceive at such moments will determine what goes on inside of us and ultimately what comes out as our action.
You action will determine weather you get stuck and settle there or you move on and aim higher in life. When you can't find any source of encouragement turn to God and to His word. His word is ever sure. There is nothing you look for that you can't find in the Bible.
He said in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." This is one of my favorite scriptures in the Bible and the anchor scripture for this blog.
See, no matter what is happening to you or around you, God has the final say. He knows what's best for you and reserves the best for you. He has your future in His hands (Psalm 16:5). He has you engraved you in His palms (Isaiah 49:16). So He knows everything about us
What you tell or say to yourself in difficult moments matters a whole lot. Things might not go as planned but know that God has the best for you.
You may have messed up or failed at some point in time, know that God is training you for a greater purpose.
Sometimes, it is a test to see how you can handle the pressure or experience. You need to pass the Small tests for the bigger blessings.
If I had given up on my vision when I went blank on stage, I wouldn't have come this far in my speaking and blogging career.
Through these experiences we are being trained, character is developed, patience improved, faith and hope increased in God.
There are blessings that come from difficult times not just when things are going well for us. Some of these things we go through, is to prepare us for where we are going.
We grow better in difficult times or after we may have experienced rough times. The difficult times is all part of the process. When we don't understand it, God is working behind the scenes and redirecting our steps.
All you need is to keep trusting God in the difficult times and keep the right attitude. Life is not going to be smooth all the time but Jesus says we should be of good cheers (John 16:33).
Despite all Joseph went through from being thrown into the pit, sold into slavery and thrown into prison for a crime he did not commit, he remained calm, kept his focus and his eyes were never off his dreams.
You just keep being in faith. Your faith in God has the capacity to bring you out of the difficult moment better and stronger and then into where you are destined to be.
Quote for the day - "Whenever you do not understand what's happening in your life, just close your eyes, take a deep breath and say God I know it's your plan, just help me through it." - Alberto Casing
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