Tough times happen to us all. We've all experienced rough edges in life. Pains, heart breaks, loses, betrayals and so many other challenges that tend to weigh us down.
Despite all the grindings that never stops, hustle and bustle, life seems to be on a stand still like every effort is wasted.
But we must know that life is a process of highs, lows and everything in between. Wherever you are and whoever you are, negative situations can prove to be a challenge even to the strongest optimist.
The truth is, it may not be easy for you to pick up yourself and move on but not impossible for you to do.
You may have gone through a job loss, painful divorce, health challenges etc. Whichever way you may have fallen apart, life requires you to pick up the pieces and move on. Not to give in or give up on life.
Regardless of what is happening to you, life won't stop. It goes on anyway so you don't need to get stuck in the battles of life.
It's normal for everyone to feel like they are falling apart at one point in life when it seems like the whole world is against them but what is of utmost importance is how we come out of it.
You either come out of it feeling enlightened and empowered or you come out of it feeling depressed, confused and all alone.
Whatever you may be going through doesn't make you less of who you are neither does it mean you are no longer worthy of God's love or anyone else's.
Healing and moving on is not always automatic. It doesn't come at the snap of the finger because we want to drop the hurts and pains to move on.
Healing comes with baby steps. It comes with the intention of wanting to heal and moving on by taking baby steps towards your healing.
We may not be able to move forward in totality, but learning, unlearning and re-learning how to live life again with the right tools put in place, we can always move on.
SOME TOOLS TO HELP YOU PICK UP THE PIECES
1. ACCEPTANCE : First of all, we must be willing to accept the disappointment and hurts. Accept that it happened to you and you feel the pain because you are human. Living in denial can make it very difficult to move on. Accept that you can't fully understand and explain why such thing is happening to you.
You may have so many questions as to why something bad should happen to you and that's OK, but you must understand and accept that you may never find answers to your questions so move on.
2. LEARN : Learn from the pains, hurts and disappointments. It is commonly said that "In every disappointment is a blessing attached."
When going through difficult moments, it can be difficult to pick one or two lessons from the hurt because we are focused on the problem but once you take your eyes of the problem and look forward, you would see lessons to pick in your challenges or difficulties.
Learning from the difficult moments may take a longer time but helps to provide a closure and healing.
When you accept every pain and hurt experienced, you would be able to learn a lesson or two from the experience.
Trying to learn from every bad experience helps you shift your focus from the problem to the lessons.
One of the reasons why we learn from negative situations is to prevent a repeat or re-occurrence of the bad experience.
4. FORGIVE : In every pain or difficulty experienced, learn to forgive whoever may have wronged you and also learn to forgive yourself for every slip up, mistakes and failures. If you are not open to forgiveness, it would be difficult for you to move on in life.
Forgiveness is one major tool that helps you to heal fast and move on, but the lack of it makes you relive the past over and over again and blinds you from seeing a way forward. It also prevents you from growth.
5. PATIENCE : Patience. it is said is a virtue but most of us find it difficult to exhibit this virtue in difficult moments. We must learn to wait even in difficult moments.
Skipping this process or stage of waiting can affect you for a life time. So learn to wait. In your waiting is your healing, recovery, learning, unlearning and relearning.
Wait till you get to a point of inner calm and peace then move on to the next phase of your life.
6. STAY POSITIVE : As difficult as it might seem, its best to stay positive in such moments. Believe you will come out of every difficulty stronger than you were.
Being pessimistic and negative at such times could worsen the situation and affect your health, mental state and the rest of your whole being.
7. CREATE A NEW VISION/FUTURE : At such times, learn to create a new vision for your future. Set new goals and plans on how to achieve your goals in life.
See yourself rising above the challenge and winning the game.
8. SELF CARE : When it seems like the whole world is crumbling down on you, the last thing that comes to mind is self care but this is much needed.
It is not the time consume so much alcohol, drugs or getting involved with reckless behavior. Take care of yourself to heal.
Drugs and alcohol can only make you forget for just a while after which you will always come back to reality.
They are also harmful to your health, worsening the situation you in to so why why indulge in them to be relieved for just a moment.
Read books that will revive your mind, eat healthy, hang out with friends that will inspire and motivate you to overcome.
Stop chasing men for love but fall in love with yourself over and over again. Live life and do things because they make you happier.
Take care of your spirit, soul and body because at the end of the day, we are our biggest commitment.
9. GET SUPPORT : Talk to someone and get support. Don't bottle it all up. Talk to a close family member(s), friends, mentor or a counselor.
It is commonly said that "a problem shared is half solved". Sometimes, the problem may not really be solved but you feel relived after speaking out and talking to someone.
10. TALK TO GOD : Above all, hand your broken pieces over to God. He makes everything new and beautiful. In God we have the assurance that life can not leave us broken and shattered.
He comforts and heals every broken spirit. He mends the broken heart bringing out a beautiful story from every broken piece.
Stay strong and be stronger than your negative situation or emotions. Never allow your emotions change who you are.
Don't give into panic. Stay calm, slow down in taking decisions and think through the situation before acting on anything.
There is a reason why whatever is happening to you is happening. In the midst of the storm, you can always find your purpose.
The beauty of it all is that whatever you may be going through is just a story you would tell one day to inspire and motivate others live through life's challenges.
And at the end of it all, you would come out stronger, better, more resilient and more beautiful than you were before the storm.
Life is too short to start your day with broken pieces of yesterday, it will definitely destroy your wonderful today and ruin your great tomorrow."
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