"Living well is the best revenge" is a quote made by George Herbert that I use as a mantra for myself but I always add moving on to the quote as it makes more sense to me.
When we get hurt or betrayed by people, the natural thing or first thing that comes to mind is vengeance. This is a normal feeling (which is subject to our control). We would want take vengeance against who ever hurt us. Some people would even want to wait for the person who hurt them to have forgotten they ever did and then take vengeance in accordance to the popular phrase "Revenge is best served cold." We think, by inflicting same pain or any other pain on the person who have wronged us would make us feel better. You might feel better at the time you take your revenge but in the long run, you might feel even worse. This puts you at work every second of your life living on how to take vengeance against that person who has hurt you in one way or the other. The person who hurt you, rejected you, abandoned you, jilted you, betrayed you and otherwise has probably moved on in life forgetting you even exist while you are seated plotting everyday to get back at the person instead of moving on with your life. Plotting to take vengeance keeps you connected with the one who has hurt you rather than keeping you detached from that person.
You see this life we live in? People will always hurt you at every stage of life you get to. Everyday of your life, you might come across people that would want to dump their garbage on you, hurt you, betray you, lie against you, set you up, criticise you and say all sorts of things against you for no reason. So then, the question is, how many people do you want to take revenge on? Unfortunately, so many people seek retaliation. Seeking vengeance will only turn you into that same thing or person that hurt you and concentrating on revenge keeps the wounds fresh instead of healing you.
DISADVANTAGES OF TAKING VENGEANCE
1. YOU LOSE YOUR POWER : You give power to the one who has hurt you when you focus on wanting to take revenge. The person ends up controlling your emotions, actions and decisions.
2. YOU GET STUCK : You end up doing nothing for yourself. Your focus remains majorly on the one who has hurt you preventing you from doing anything meaningful for yourself. You allow the other person freely rent your head all in the name of vengeance while you remain stuck in your own life.
3. YOU HURT YOURSELF MORE : Revenge becomes counterproductive to you. You cause more harm to yourself and hurt yourself more than the one you intend taking vengeance on. Trying to seek vengeance steals joy from you and dries up your bones. According to Confucius "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." This quote by Confucius shows, you would probably end up in the grave trying to seek vengeance.
4. VENGEANCE BECOMES PART OF YOU : Revenge never stops. Once you start it, it becomes part of you. You would want to always seek revenge at the slightest provocation.
5. WASTED TIME : You waste precious time that you would have used in doing something productive for yourself. All the time you have is spent on thinking and plotting revenge rather than doing something worthwhile and productive for yourself.
LIVING WELL AS THE BEST REVENGE
CULTIVATE SELF LOVE : Love yourself despite the hurt, betrayal, rejection and abandonment. Just because someone hurt you in whichever form doesn't make you less of that person. Instead of wasting precious time seeking revenge, invest more in loving who you are and what you do.
Read also : Enjoy your own company
LET GO : Let go of the hurt and the quest to seek vengeance. Harbouring the hurt and desiring to take vengeance will only cause more harm to you and not the person you intend hurting back. Letting go does not really mean you have forgotten but it means letting go of those who hurt you from your heart, mind and soul. It frees you from the dangers of vengeance.
MOVE ON : After letting go, the next thing is to move on with your life. Move on like you never met those who hurt in you in one way or the other and like the hurt never happened. Focus on other goals you have set for yourself and pursue them to achieve them. Get busy with your life by developing yourself. Go for classes, exercise often and get skills acquisition. Improve yourself and see how happy you would become in life. Don't waste your precious time thinking about who hurt and how to take vengeance.
Also read : Don't cast your pearls before swines
LIVING RIGHT : Live right irrespective of being hurt. Do the right things instead of the wrong things because you were hurt. The right thing might be stretching a helping hand to the one who has hurt you. At this point, it could be difficult to be good to that person because the memory of the hurt flashes back and all you want to do is to get back at the person but deep down, you know giving a helping hand is the right thing to do. Stretching a helping hand shows you have forgiven the person even if you haven't forgotten and it also indicates you let go of the hurt. There are some people who have been hurt in relationships and has vowed to take it on every other relationship they get into with the opposite sex. This is wrong. You can always find love and be happy doing what is right.
Read also : DEVELOPING A POSITIVE MENTALITY
BE GRATEFUL : No matter what happens, be grateful to God that it happened. It might be difficult to be grateful after being hurt but if you develop a heart of gratitude even in the midst of the hurt, you would feel relieved and better. Being grateful gives you hope, it helps heal the wounds and enables you to forge ahead. Most times, while hurting, you would never see why God let certain things happen but after a while you would be thankful that they happened and they end up making you stronger so no matter what, learn to be grateful to God. "In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (1st Thessalonians 5:18).
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE LIVING WELL AND MOVING ON
YOU ARE HAPPIER : You are no longer angry. You have gotten over the hurt and happily living your life. The one(s) who hurt you no longer cross your mind and even when they do, they don't dwell there.
Read : Create your happiness and be your kind of happiness
YOU STOPPED SULKING : You stopped dwelling in the hurt a long time ago. Even when you remember what happened, you are no longer upset but rather heave a sigh of relief. You have realised that life is too sweet to keep dwelling in the hurt knowing there is nothing you can actually do about it, so why worry?
Celebrate your being
The person you want to take vengeance on has moved on and probably does not have you in mind any more or living like you no longer exist. So go on with your life like the one who has wronged never existed and leave vengeance for God. If you were unjustly wronged, God will fight your battles and take the vengeance on your behalf. No one takes vengeance better than God. "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them." (Deuteronomy 32:35). Leave
vengeance and karma for God. What goes around surely comes around. Patience is a virtue that lets karma carry out its course. When you are patient and not seeking revenge, God fights for you. And the best part is that when God fights for you, you physically had nothing to do with it leaving you with a clean conscience.
When we get hurt or betrayed by people, the natural thing or first thing that comes to mind is vengeance. This is a normal feeling (which is subject to our control). We would want take vengeance against who ever hurt us. Some people would even want to wait for the person who hurt them to have forgotten they ever did and then take vengeance in accordance to the popular phrase "Revenge is best served cold." We think, by inflicting same pain or any other pain on the person who have wronged us would make us feel better. You might feel better at the time you take your revenge but in the long run, you might feel even worse. This puts you at work every second of your life living on how to take vengeance against that person who has hurt you in one way or the other. The person who hurt you, rejected you, abandoned you, jilted you, betrayed you and otherwise has probably moved on in life forgetting you even exist while you are seated plotting everyday to get back at the person instead of moving on with your life. Plotting to take vengeance keeps you connected with the one who has hurt you rather than keeping you detached from that person.
You see this life we live in? People will always hurt you at every stage of life you get to. Everyday of your life, you might come across people that would want to dump their garbage on you, hurt you, betray you, lie against you, set you up, criticise you and say all sorts of things against you for no reason. So then, the question is, how many people do you want to take revenge on? Unfortunately, so many people seek retaliation. Seeking vengeance will only turn you into that same thing or person that hurt you and concentrating on revenge keeps the wounds fresh instead of healing you.
Living well is not about living to impress others or to make a point and prove that you can get on in life without those who have hurt you. It is actually meant to live well from within you not minding who has hurt you. It is living your life like the one who hurt you never existed or that you never met that person. It is letting go of the person from your heart and life. It is focusing on your future goals and see to it that they achieved. Living well is ensuring you live your dreams, developing and showcasing your talent. I made a quote concerning this write up in which I said "Your happiness is the best revenge towards those who have wronged you in one way or the other." and a very loving and good friend of mine Mayokun Adeoti, the president and CEO of Standard Business Operating Systems and director, Startup Grind, Jos, Plateau State added "Success is the sweetest revenge against yesterday’s hurts and pains." And I so much agree with him on this. Ensuring you succeed in all you do despite the hurt, will be the sweetest revenge ever.
1. YOU LOSE YOUR POWER : You give power to the one who has hurt you when you focus on wanting to take revenge. The person ends up controlling your emotions, actions and decisions.
2. YOU GET STUCK : You end up doing nothing for yourself. Your focus remains majorly on the one who has hurt you preventing you from doing anything meaningful for yourself. You allow the other person freely rent your head all in the name of vengeance while you remain stuck in your own life.
3. YOU HURT YOURSELF MORE : Revenge becomes counterproductive to you. You cause more harm to yourself and hurt yourself more than the one you intend taking vengeance on. Trying to seek vengeance steals joy from you and dries up your bones. According to Confucius "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." This quote by Confucius shows, you would probably end up in the grave trying to seek vengeance.
4. VENGEANCE BECOMES PART OF YOU : Revenge never stops. Once you start it, it becomes part of you. You would want to always seek revenge at the slightest provocation.
5. WASTED TIME : You waste precious time that you would have used in doing something productive for yourself. All the time you have is spent on thinking and plotting revenge rather than doing something worthwhile and productive for yourself.
LIVING WELL AS THE BEST REVENGE
CULTIVATE SELF LOVE : Love yourself despite the hurt, betrayal, rejection and abandonment. Just because someone hurt you in whichever form doesn't make you less of that person. Instead of wasting precious time seeking revenge, invest more in loving who you are and what you do.
Read also : Enjoy your own company
LET GO : Let go of the hurt and the quest to seek vengeance. Harbouring the hurt and desiring to take vengeance will only cause more harm to you and not the person you intend hurting back. Letting go does not really mean you have forgotten but it means letting go of those who hurt you from your heart, mind and soul. It frees you from the dangers of vengeance.
MOVE ON : After letting go, the next thing is to move on with your life. Move on like you never met those who hurt in you in one way or the other and like the hurt never happened. Focus on other goals you have set for yourself and pursue them to achieve them. Get busy with your life by developing yourself. Go for classes, exercise often and get skills acquisition. Improve yourself and see how happy you would become in life. Don't waste your precious time thinking about who hurt and how to take vengeance.
Also read : Don't cast your pearls before swines
LIVING RIGHT : Live right irrespective of being hurt. Do the right things instead of the wrong things because you were hurt. The right thing might be stretching a helping hand to the one who has hurt you. At this point, it could be difficult to be good to that person because the memory of the hurt flashes back and all you want to do is to get back at the person but deep down, you know giving a helping hand is the right thing to do. Stretching a helping hand shows you have forgiven the person even if you haven't forgotten and it also indicates you let go of the hurt. There are some people who have been hurt in relationships and has vowed to take it on every other relationship they get into with the opposite sex. This is wrong. You can always find love and be happy doing what is right.
Read also : DEVELOPING A POSITIVE MENTALITY
BE GRATEFUL : No matter what happens, be grateful to God that it happened. It might be difficult to be grateful after being hurt but if you develop a heart of gratitude even in the midst of the hurt, you would feel relieved and better. Being grateful gives you hope, it helps heal the wounds and enables you to forge ahead. Most times, while hurting, you would never see why God let certain things happen but after a while you would be thankful that they happened and they end up making you stronger so no matter what, learn to be grateful to God. "In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (1st Thessalonians 5:18).
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE LIVING WELL AND MOVING ON
YOU ARE HAPPIER : You are no longer angry. You have gotten over the hurt and happily living your life. The one(s) who hurt you no longer cross your mind and even when they do, they don't dwell there.
Read : Create your happiness and be your kind of happiness
YOU STOPPED SULKING : You stopped dwelling in the hurt a long time ago. Even when you remember what happened, you are no longer upset but rather heave a sigh of relief. You have realised that life is too sweet to keep dwelling in the hurt knowing there is nothing you can actually do about it, so why worry?
Celebrate your being
The person you want to take vengeance on has moved on and probably does not have you in mind any more or living like you no longer exist. So go on with your life like the one who has wronged never existed and leave vengeance for God. If you were unjustly wronged, God will fight your battles and take the vengeance on your behalf. No one takes vengeance better than God. "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them." (Deuteronomy 32:35). Leave
Quote for the day-"Health does not always come from medicine. Most of the time, it comes from peace of mind, peace in the heart, peace in the soul. It comes from laughter and love." Unknown
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