I use to be one who thinks everyone should like me but one of the hardest lessons I got to learn in life was that not everyone will like me. Everyone must not be for you or like you, not everyone will support your dream. Some won't like you for being too honest and blunt, some won't like you for being yourself, some won't even like you for living your dream while there are those who don't like you for the level you are at the moment and there are those who won't even like you for being grateful at the tiniest thing that means nothing to them while there are those who won't like you for no reason. Some will even hate you for doing a righteous course. Not everyone is going to like you for who you are or what you do. That's just how life is and meant to be but does that mean because some people don't like you or the people you crave their love don't do as you expect, you shouldn't go on with life? No matter what happens, no matter who it is that doesnt like you or your dream and no matter the number of people who don't like you, just keep being you and keep going on with your life. e. If no one likes you for who you are or what you do, that's their cup of tea and not yours. It only shows everyone is entitled to his or feelings and opinions. We are all distinct personalities unique in our own ways, with original ideas, and our own brand of creativity, so don't expect everyone to like you, accept you or be for you.
Stop bothering about those who don't like you. God knows the kind of people you need in your life and will bring the right people your path. Sometimes, God even uses those who do not like you to push you towards achieving your goals, living your dreams and living the purpose God created you for. Examples are Joseph who was betrayed and sold by his brothers into slavery, accused wrongly by Potiphar's wife and thrown into prison for something he did not do but unknown to these people, they were pushing Joseph towards achieving his dream. Jesus was betrayed by Judas but unknown to Judas, he was only bringing Jesus closer to the accomplishment of his purpose here on earth. David had to kill goliath before he came to limelight to the full glare of the Israelites and placed at the head of the army. Daniel despite being liked by the king was still hated by some just because he prays to his God which meant no harm to anybody and was plotted against to be thrown into the lion's den.
If you feel everyone is going to like you or support your dream, then you will wait for a very long time or for the rest of your life not achieving your own goal, living your dream, accomplishing nothing for yourself or living the life God purposed for you to live. Until you get to realize that not everyone will like you, you will keep living your life on the terms of people and be in danger of your own self. Be at peace with yourself and everyone, come to terms that not everyone will like you, put smiles on your face and know that the only one who can love you like you deserve and always be for you is God and you.
DANGERS OF EXPECTING EVERYONE TO LIKE YOU OR BE FOR YOU
1. PEOPLE PLEASER : You become a people pleaser when you care so much about who likes you and who does not or who accepts you and who doesn't. If you care so much about being liked, you are in danger of being a people pleaser. You will end up putting others and their happiness before yours cause you want everyone around you to be happy seeking the the validation of people . This indicates that your happiness, personal feelings and self confidence is determined by others.
2. HATING : Expecting everyone to like you might lead you to hating them when you don't get the likeness you expect from them. And hating just like that for no reason won't be right for your health. You end up frowning all the time, no joy in your spirit and you end up affecting your relationship with others. You become moody all day worrying about what people think about you.
3. INFERIORITY COMPLEX : Inferiority complex sets in when your expectation of being liked or accepted by others is not met. This kills your self-confidence and self worth when you crave being liked or accepted by others. You must learn to move on with life if some people don't like you. Give no one the power over your emotions.
4. ACHIEVING LITTLE OR NOTHING : Because you expect people to like you for who you are and what you do you end up achieving little or nothing for yourself when your expectation is not met. You will find it difficult to make decisions without the approval of people, take on any task for yourself or live your dream worrying about what people might think about you, if you will be criticised or rejected and at the end, you live your life on the terms of others.
HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE NOT BEING LIKED BY EVERYONE
1. DO NOTHING : If one or two persons say they don't like or accept you for who you are or for what you do, do nothing about it. If they come around eventually as a result of you trying to win them over, then no problem but if not, move on with your life and dreams. God knows how to set and bring the right people your way and push you towards achieving your goals and dreams. No one person is liked by everyone.
2. JUST BE YOU : No matter what people say or think about you, their opinion about you does not matter one bit. You are unique and special in your own way with a different purpose here on earth. Your dream is quite different from theirs, so just be you and live your life the way you are. Don't let anyone speak or talk less of you. Surround yourself with people who celebrate you and not tolerate you, people who love you and understand your goals and dreams. Be with people that you can be yourself with, people you can be free with even in your nautiness. There are friends who would listen to your bulshit, tell you its bulshit and still listen to the remaning bulshit 😄. Such friends can be with you through thick and thin supporting your every goal all the way. Don't be around those who criticise your every move. Your flaws are a part of who you are and they make you perfect in your imperfections
Read : Celebrate your being
3. PRACTICE SELF LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE : Irrespective of how people treat you or react towards you, always practice self love. If you find it difficult loving yourself, then you will always crave being loved, liked or accepted by others and when you don't get it, you get all emotionally down affecting your self confidence. Know your strengths, limits and weaknesses. Knowing your strengths, limits and weaknesses, enables you to accept you for you, love yourself much better than anyone else would to the point that what people think about you would matter less to you. According to Christiana H. Principe "Self acceptance is necessary first. The second, is the realization that we are all different and not everything is for everybody."
READ : The problem with people's validation
4. NEVER TAKE IT PERSONAL : If people don't like you especially those you want to like you, do not take it personal. Know that not everyone will like you no matter what you do or how good you are to them. People not liking you is not always about you but about them. There are people who just get along with you and if they don't, is not your fault. These are part of the challenges in life that will enable you grow soundly and into maturity.
5. BE IN CONTROL : Be in control of your emotions. The power is in you to decide how you feel about people's reactions towards you. When you care too much about what people think about you and crave so much for their love, then you are giving them the power over your emotions or letting them decide your actions and decisions. They get to decide how you live your life hence living for others and not for you or living the dream of others and not your dreams. If you ever find yourself in such a situation, endeavour to take the power back and be incontrol of the affairs of your life. It is more empowering to be in control of your life than to let others have power over you. If someone does not like you, that's their cup of tea and it should not bother you at all. Your self worth is only determined by the strength of your character, the love you give yourself and others, knowing you are a work in progress and being contented with what you have. Joel Osteen will always say "You are not responsible for how people act towards you but you are responsible for how you react."
Read : Create your happiness and be your kind of happiness
6. CREATE POSITIVE MANTRAS : Create positive mantras for yourself. Matras are positive words or phrases you say to yourself everyday or when you find yourself in difficult situations to motivate yourself. They are like affirmations you say to yourself daily. Using healthy mantras or saying affirmations to yourself enables you to focus on the positive. They are healthy ways to feel good about yourself and to see the good in you irrespective of what others think or say about you without seeking for other people's approval.
7. DEVELOP A HEART OF GRATITUDE. A heart of gratitude is a heart filled with joy and happiness. Such a heart is appreciative of every little good deed done towards it by God or man. If you have a heart of gratitude, you will always be grateful for the things you have and not the things you don't have, neither would you care less about who likes you and who does not. Practicing a heart of gratitude enables you to appreciate each phase of your life, be at peace with yourself and makes you see you have so much to be grateful for.
Read : Embrace your days of insignificance
8. MASTER YOUR RELATIONSHIPS : Learn to master your relationships with people around you especially with those who do not like you. Some of the people who do not like you are people you must relate with on a daily basis especially at work, so you must know how to relate with them accepting them the way they are and limiting frequent contact with them. Mastering your relationship with such people gives you an edge, shows your maturity and enables you avoid confrontations with them.
9. MAKE AND MEET NEW FRIENDS : Whenever the opportunity arises, endeavour to make new friends. Never look down on anyone as you never know what they carry inside. Don't use past experiences of not being liked by certain people to avoid making new friends. It's always good to widen your social circle creating room for new friends. There are people God will bring your way that will help sharpen you, develop you and help bring your goals to fulfillment.
Everyone is not suppose to be for you. Some people who are actually against you are even designed for your destiny and not to destroy you. You just keep running your own race and stop bothering about who likes and who does not or who celebrates you and who doesn't. Only you can talk yourself in or out of your dreams or purpose in life.
Stop bothering about those who don't like you. God knows the kind of people you need in your life and will bring the right people your path. Sometimes, God even uses those who do not like you to push you towards achieving your goals, living your dreams and living the purpose God created you for. Examples are Joseph who was betrayed and sold by his brothers into slavery, accused wrongly by Potiphar's wife and thrown into prison for something he did not do but unknown to these people, they were pushing Joseph towards achieving his dream. Jesus was betrayed by Judas but unknown to Judas, he was only bringing Jesus closer to the accomplishment of his purpose here on earth. David had to kill goliath before he came to limelight to the full glare of the Israelites and placed at the head of the army. Daniel despite being liked by the king was still hated by some just because he prays to his God which meant no harm to anybody and was plotted against to be thrown into the lion's den.
If you feel everyone is going to like you or support your dream, then you will wait for a very long time or for the rest of your life not achieving your own goal, living your dream, accomplishing nothing for yourself or living the life God purposed for you to live. Until you get to realize that not everyone will like you, you will keep living your life on the terms of people and be in danger of your own self. Be at peace with yourself and everyone, come to terms that not everyone will like you, put smiles on your face and know that the only one who can love you like you deserve and always be for you is God and you.
DANGERS OF EXPECTING EVERYONE TO LIKE YOU OR BE FOR YOU
1. PEOPLE PLEASER : You become a people pleaser when you care so much about who likes you and who does not or who accepts you and who doesn't. If you care so much about being liked, you are in danger of being a people pleaser. You will end up putting others and their happiness before yours cause you want everyone around you to be happy seeking the the validation of people . This indicates that your happiness, personal feelings and self confidence is determined by others.
2. HATING : Expecting everyone to like you might lead you to hating them when you don't get the likeness you expect from them. And hating just like that for no reason won't be right for your health. You end up frowning all the time, no joy in your spirit and you end up affecting your relationship with others. You become moody all day worrying about what people think about you.
3. INFERIORITY COMPLEX : Inferiority complex sets in when your expectation of being liked or accepted by others is not met. This kills your self-confidence and self worth when you crave being liked or accepted by others. You must learn to move on with life if some people don't like you. Give no one the power over your emotions.
4. ACHIEVING LITTLE OR NOTHING : Because you expect people to like you for who you are and what you do you end up achieving little or nothing for yourself when your expectation is not met. You will find it difficult to make decisions without the approval of people, take on any task for yourself or live your dream worrying about what people might think about you, if you will be criticised or rejected and at the end, you live your life on the terms of others.
HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE NOT BEING LIKED BY EVERYONE
1. DO NOTHING : If one or two persons say they don't like or accept you for who you are or for what you do, do nothing about it. If they come around eventually as a result of you trying to win them over, then no problem but if not, move on with your life and dreams. God knows how to set and bring the right people your way and push you towards achieving your goals and dreams. No one person is liked by everyone.
2. JUST BE YOU : No matter what people say or think about you, their opinion about you does not matter one bit. You are unique and special in your own way with a different purpose here on earth. Your dream is quite different from theirs, so just be you and live your life the way you are. Don't let anyone speak or talk less of you. Surround yourself with people who celebrate you and not tolerate you, people who love you and understand your goals and dreams. Be with people that you can be yourself with, people you can be free with even in your nautiness. There are friends who would listen to your bulshit, tell you its bulshit and still listen to the remaning bulshit 😄. Such friends can be with you through thick and thin supporting your every goal all the way. Don't be around those who criticise your every move. Your flaws are a part of who you are and they make you perfect in your imperfections
Read : Celebrate your being
3. PRACTICE SELF LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE : Irrespective of how people treat you or react towards you, always practice self love. If you find it difficult loving yourself, then you will always crave being loved, liked or accepted by others and when you don't get it, you get all emotionally down affecting your self confidence. Know your strengths, limits and weaknesses. Knowing your strengths, limits and weaknesses, enables you to accept you for you, love yourself much better than anyone else would to the point that what people think about you would matter less to you. According to Christiana H. Principe "Self acceptance is necessary first. The second, is the realization that we are all different and not everything is for everybody."
READ : The problem with people's validation
4. NEVER TAKE IT PERSONAL : If people don't like you especially those you want to like you, do not take it personal. Know that not everyone will like you no matter what you do or how good you are to them. People not liking you is not always about you but about them. There are people who just get along with you and if they don't, is not your fault. These are part of the challenges in life that will enable you grow soundly and into maturity.
5. BE IN CONTROL : Be in control of your emotions. The power is in you to decide how you feel about people's reactions towards you. When you care too much about what people think about you and crave so much for their love, then you are giving them the power over your emotions or letting them decide your actions and decisions. They get to decide how you live your life hence living for others and not for you or living the dream of others and not your dreams. If you ever find yourself in such a situation, endeavour to take the power back and be incontrol of the affairs of your life. It is more empowering to be in control of your life than to let others have power over you. If someone does not like you, that's their cup of tea and it should not bother you at all. Your self worth is only determined by the strength of your character, the love you give yourself and others, knowing you are a work in progress and being contented with what you have. Joel Osteen will always say "You are not responsible for how people act towards you but you are responsible for how you react."
Read : Create your happiness and be your kind of happiness
6. CREATE POSITIVE MANTRAS : Create positive mantras for yourself. Matras are positive words or phrases you say to yourself everyday or when you find yourself in difficult situations to motivate yourself. They are like affirmations you say to yourself daily. Using healthy mantras or saying affirmations to yourself enables you to focus on the positive. They are healthy ways to feel good about yourself and to see the good in you irrespective of what others think or say about you without seeking for other people's approval.
7. DEVELOP A HEART OF GRATITUDE. A heart of gratitude is a heart filled with joy and happiness. Such a heart is appreciative of every little good deed done towards it by God or man. If you have a heart of gratitude, you will always be grateful for the things you have and not the things you don't have, neither would you care less about who likes you and who does not. Practicing a heart of gratitude enables you to appreciate each phase of your life, be at peace with yourself and makes you see you have so much to be grateful for.
Read : Embrace your days of insignificance
8. MASTER YOUR RELATIONSHIPS : Learn to master your relationships with people around you especially with those who do not like you. Some of the people who do not like you are people you must relate with on a daily basis especially at work, so you must know how to relate with them accepting them the way they are and limiting frequent contact with them. Mastering your relationship with such people gives you an edge, shows your maturity and enables you avoid confrontations with them.
9. MAKE AND MEET NEW FRIENDS : Whenever the opportunity arises, endeavour to make new friends. Never look down on anyone as you never know what they carry inside. Don't use past experiences of not being liked by certain people to avoid making new friends. It's always good to widen your social circle creating room for new friends. There are people God will bring your way that will help sharpen you, develop you and help bring your goals to fulfillment.
Everyone is not suppose to be for you. Some people who are actually against you are even designed for your destiny and not to destroy you. You just keep running your own race and stop bothering about who likes and who does not or who celebrates you and who doesn't. Only you can talk yourself in or out of your dreams or purpose in life.
Quote for the day - "Everybody is going to have an opinion on you; not everyone is going to like you. You can't live your life based on other people's opinions of you or let that change what you do or how you feel about yourself, because then you're not living." - Rumer Willis
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