The rate at which people especially young ones commit suicide is becoming alarming. In Africa, especially in Nigeria, it was a very rare occurrence and a thing to be unheard of but not so anymore. It is now a great concern to everyone and the society at large. Some commit suicide due to failed relationships, some do it as a result of failures in other areas of their lives like failing in an exam, business failures and so on while some die of depression of some sort or the other. The reason for these suicides might seem nothing of significance to those of us who are stronger but it is of great importance to those who have even have the thought of it, how much more those who actually carried out the act. Reasons behind every pain or depression we go through as individuals varies from one person to another and are unique to each and everyone of us. How we cope with such pains differs from one person to another so never compare your strength with that of another going through such moments of pains and depression in life.
Having suicidal feelings does not mean one has character defect but that they have more pains than they can bear and cope with. Not everyone has the same ability to bear pains or depression and that's why we ought to be there for one another and not make mockery of someone else's pains and depression. We all go through one form of pain or another that often times lead or tend to lead to depression depending on one's ability to bear the pains but with time and support from loved ones, the pain does not just pass away but the person becomes stronger and wiser. Unfortunately, not everyone has this support system from friends, family members or strong enough to overcome these pains and the feelings of depression.
One major reason for suicidal thoughts is the difficulty in finding a solution to a problem. To such people, they tend not to see any way out even when there is a solution because their eyes are fixed only on the problem and not on possible solutions. For one who has had a failed relationship and is contemplating suicide seem to think he/she can never find a better person, can not be loved or not good enough to be loved meanwhile, there is some one out there desiring to have this person as a life partner. He/she also fails to see that there are better persons out there worth his/her love. The pain of course won't be easy to bear, it's usually intense and distorts our thinking but if the process of healing is allowed and time given, one would get healed, see and know better.
I am here just to say to those of you contemplating suicide, feeling like the world is about to crumble on you or depressed, that no matter the pain you are going through, you are not alone. There are those who presently are going through worst moments than you are but are pulling through. The strongest, finest, most courageous and admired people you see today have been through one pain or the other and possibly worst pains than you can ever imagine. The pains we go through are what makes us wiser and stronger and at the end, gives us beautiful stories to tell in order to inspire others. Every stage in life brings its own challenge. For those contemplating suicide cause of a failed relationship or thinking marriage will end every form of pain, challenge and bring you happiness, then you are wrong. Learn to be happy now that you are single and take responsibility of your life and actions. Be happy with yourself and appreciate every little achievement you have made so far in life; celebrate your little wins. Failed businesses does not mean the end of the world, you can always pull through.
You are much more important and needed to people around you than you know. Before you contemplate suicide, think about your parents who brought you into this world and hoping to reap the fruits of their labour in you. Is it right for them to bury you or for you to give them a befitting burial in their old ripe age? The pains you are feeling right now is nothing compared to the pains of grief your parents will go through burying and mourning you. Think about your siblings who look up to you in one way or the other, how about close friends who come to you for one form of help or the other and then the society at large in which you can make significant impact/difference. Same courage you are using to contemplate suicide or to actually do it, use that same courage to face life, deal with life's challenges and overcome them. The beauty of life also lies in the challenges of life we face every day and not just in the good times. Life is not just full of roses but has its thorns too.
When faced with difficulties, failures in relationships or other areas of life and possibly depression;
Having suicidal feelings does not mean one has character defect but that they have more pains than they can bear and cope with. Not everyone has the same ability to bear pains or depression and that's why we ought to be there for one another and not make mockery of someone else's pains and depression. We all go through one form of pain or another that often times lead or tend to lead to depression depending on one's ability to bear the pains but with time and support from loved ones, the pain does not just pass away but the person becomes stronger and wiser. Unfortunately, not everyone has this support system from friends, family members or strong enough to overcome these pains and the feelings of depression.
One major reason for suicidal thoughts is the difficulty in finding a solution to a problem. To such people, they tend not to see any way out even when there is a solution because their eyes are fixed only on the problem and not on possible solutions. For one who has had a failed relationship and is contemplating suicide seem to think he/she can never find a better person, can not be loved or not good enough to be loved meanwhile, there is some one out there desiring to have this person as a life partner. He/she also fails to see that there are better persons out there worth his/her love. The pain of course won't be easy to bear, it's usually intense and distorts our thinking but if the process of healing is allowed and time given, one would get healed, see and know better.
I am here just to say to those of you contemplating suicide, feeling like the world is about to crumble on you or depressed, that no matter the pain you are going through, you are not alone. There are those who presently are going through worst moments than you are but are pulling through. The strongest, finest, most courageous and admired people you see today have been through one pain or the other and possibly worst pains than you can ever imagine. The pains we go through are what makes us wiser and stronger and at the end, gives us beautiful stories to tell in order to inspire others. Every stage in life brings its own challenge. For those contemplating suicide cause of a failed relationship or thinking marriage will end every form of pain, challenge and bring you happiness, then you are wrong. Learn to be happy now that you are single and take responsibility of your life and actions. Be happy with yourself and appreciate every little achievement you have made so far in life; celebrate your little wins. Failed businesses does not mean the end of the world, you can always pull through.
You are much more important and needed to people around you than you know. Before you contemplate suicide, think about your parents who brought you into this world and hoping to reap the fruits of their labour in you. Is it right for them to bury you or for you to give them a befitting burial in their old ripe age? The pains you are feeling right now is nothing compared to the pains of grief your parents will go through burying and mourning you. Think about your siblings who look up to you in one way or the other, how about close friends who come to you for one form of help or the other and then the society at large in which you can make significant impact/difference. Same courage you are using to contemplate suicide or to actually do it, use that same courage to face life, deal with life's challenges and overcome them. The beauty of life also lies in the challenges of life we face every day and not just in the good times. Life is not just full of roses but has its thorns too.
When faced with difficulties, failures in relationships or other areas of life and possibly depression;
- Learn to open up and seek help by speaking up. Speak to family member(s), if family members can't be of help, a friend should and if you can't find a friend fit enough to talk to, look for someone who has been in same shoes and find out how he/she was able to cope with and overcome the challenge. You can as well go online and see how to overcome such feelings. Stop trying to bottle up or hide your feelings but rather learn and develop coping skills to overcome depression and find strength to go on in life. People have faced worst challenges yet they still go on with life beautifully. There is nothing you are going through in life or that you will ever go through that someone else hasn't been through and pulled through.
- Try not to take rash decisions that you would regret tomorrow or put your family members in deep pains. The only decision you should take is deciding to calm down or talk to someone about the pains you are going through.
- Avoid taking alcohol or drugs. These will only give you temporary solution and relief. Reality will still dawn on you with the issues at hand. Instead of going out to drink with friends, do some exercises. Going out to jog with an ear piece in your ears listening to some good music will surely do you some good.
- Pursue other goals in life. Your getting married is not and shouldn't be the only goal you have in life. Just because you failed in an exam shouldn't be the end of the world. You can rewrite the exams or pick up again in that business. There may have been some personal goals or dreams you have always wanted to pursue like furthering your education, learning some skills, taking a music class or learning one musical instrument and so on. Pursue those goals as they would help keep your mind busy.
- Fill your mind with positive thoughts. When the thoughts of suicide creep in replace them with positive thought and say positive things to yourself. Speak life into your being like " I deserve better" "I can make it" " even if I fall seven tomes, then seven times will I rise again" " I am better than this" " My life is worth more than this" " I have a better and brighter future" and so on. A positive mind set rejuvenates the body and makes one optimistic whereas a negative mindset weakens the whole body system.
- Most of all, trust in God to see you through it all. He gives an unusual strength to those who call on Him and He has said that He wouldn't give us that we can not bear. " No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (1st Corinthians 10:13). If the temptation, troubles, difficulties or challenges come to you, then you can bear it and overcome it. God is not a man that He should lie(Numbers 23: 19).
Trying to take you life is understandable to be a tragic reaction towards life's difficult situations but more tragic if carried out when it could have been prevented. All those feeling depressed and contemplating suicide can still live a healthy life. For those of us who are strong enough in this wise we can become powerful and intervening force to help stop this menace and be of help or courage to those going through depression and suicidal thoughts.
Share this post as you might be saving a life from afar, a friend or even a family member. God bless us all.
Share this post as you might be saving a life from afar, a friend or even a family member. God bless us all.
Quote for the day - " The greatest glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela
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